Reign of fire10/30/2022 ![]() ![]() Come to think of it, it isn't about anything. "Reign of Fire" isn't really about the dragons. Despite all the fancy 3-D digital vector analysis and the tough-talking Euro-babe helicopter pilot (played by genuine Polish-born Euro-babe Izabella Scorupco), who wears tons of makeup in defiance of the apocalypse, basically the dragons burn everything and kill everybody and the survivors are all bummed. Gonzo guys jump out of helicopters and try to catch them in nets, which seems like a remarkably bad idea and doesn't work. The dragons are OK, I guess, in that they look pretty much like your classic early-medieval dragons with demonic spade tails and leathery, moth-eaten bat wings (and a little bit like cutting-room leftovers from "Jurassic Park"). REIGN OF FIRE HOW TOIn this case, it's a cowboy band of "Kentucky irregulars" with tanks, choppers and computers, headed up by the bald-headed, goatee-wearing, cigar-chomping Van Zan (Matthew McConaughey), who says he knows how to kill those godless communist dragons.īowman and friends undoubtedly spent a sum equivalent to the misstated phantom earnings of WorldCom on the action sequences here, but they're generally hard to follow and not that exciting. Is anybody left except for the courageous band of Brits holed up at a castle in Northumberland, under the command of the rugged and manly but brooding Quinn (Christian Bale)? Yes! As history teaches us, whenever the denizens of Blighty are in trouble the Yanks show up with their can-do attitude, their high-technology gizmos, their tobacco products, their tattoos. (All of this happens in about the first eight seconds of the movie.) It's sometime a bit further on in the 21st century, after an excavation project in London has let loose a plague of fire-breathing dragons that have pretty much destroyed the whole planet. There's really nothing wrong with the premise of "Reign of Fire," as ludicrous science-fiction premises go, but director Rob Bowman, who almost single-handedly sank the entire "X Files" franchise with his tepid 1998 film, does almost everything he can to ruin it. It might make a good subject for "Mystery Science Theater 3000" if that show still existed, or if you could hear the robots talking beneath the deafening pseudo-Wagnerian score that now accompanies all action movies. It will soon, and it will undoubtedly be more fun than this loud and assaultive but fundamentally boring spectacle, which only displays how much money Hollywood producers can spend and still wind up with something that's essentially a half-assed rip-off of other things that weren't that original in the first place. OK, technically speaking the video game of "Reign of Fire" doesn't exist yet. This is exactly the sort of big, stupid, recklessly misconceived action film that you expect to see when video games are made into movies. ![]() It's about great hulking beasts who lumber and wheeze across the devastated countryside of a dystopian future world, scourging everything before them with their foul breath. REIGN OF FIRE MOVIE"Reign of Fire" is a movie starring Matthew McConaughey and Christian Bale. ![]()
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